Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize