You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
