I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
