i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
