lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
it's like iHOP with fire
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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