you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize