you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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