You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
