I must be too annoying 4 u.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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