I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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