why didn't you poke me back
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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