People in love make me want to vomit
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
