I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
