You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
