do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
