dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
