I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Randomize
