Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
