I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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