Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
