I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize