...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Randomize
