We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
