so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
