In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
