yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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