New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
