I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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