that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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