So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
