Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Randomize
