Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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