watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
