Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
