Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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