I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
