Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
