Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
