don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
