Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
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