The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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