Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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