Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize