so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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