god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize