he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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