Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
