im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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