i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
