She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
