I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I enjoy the company of your penis
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
