so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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