you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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