I'm drive I can fine osifer
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
