I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm both gender and math confused
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize