brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
