he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
