Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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