We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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